ItsudemoKISS withPapa
by Intoxicated Gnu
Summary: Claude has a totally normal/inappropriate relationship with his father. But when they're not what he thought they were, will their relationship be able to hold strong? Parody of that one show with that similar storyline that's anime-ish.


Just to specify, Claude works at some generic 9-5 place and Necrime is the evil company who sells more paperclips than they do.  
And this is a parody.  
And it insinuates things.

Claude gasped as a hand clamped onto his arm.  
"What are you doing?"  
He pulled his arm away and continued trying to button his pants. Suddenly, he was pulled farther back, staring into those chilling, cold eyes. The normally blank orbs were glinting with mischief. "Why should you go now? Getting me up so early in the morning. Naughty, naughty boy." The older man started to undo Claude's handy work while keeping his mouth busy, but Claude managed to wriggle away enough to speak again.  
"I have to go to work. I've already been late three times this week."  
"So?" With that single word, all arguments withered as the man did things to his things.

Claude sighed. He'd finally managed to get away from his supposed father. He was able to hide their relationship well because he was known to be such a ladies man, but the truth was that he was only fifteen years old and had yet to have interest in women. He had thought his fake age believable at first, but he felt like he couldn't relate well to others because the only thing he'd ever known was his father's love. He'd been quite sheltered. When he had been just a small boy and his father would play with him in the bath, he thought that was normal. That was all until he met his best friend who was able to teach him so much. And even at fifteen, he felt like such a child.  
"Claude! Leaving me to do all the work again. Can't you leave a girl for one moment?" Ryuu looked to be having something of a scowl mixed with some sort of proud slyness. In an instant, it was neutral. "Besides, it'd be boring if you weren't here."  
The blond turned his head with a blush. "I tried to make it here earlier, but..." Flashbacks from earlier that day played through his mind and he had to shake them out. "No, it's just- I overslept. Sorry." His eyes glued to the ground in discomfort, Claude left to go check on whatever he might need to.

"Claude, I was just looking for you."  
"Oh?" His eyes shifted around, as if unsure he was really being spoken to. "What did you need?"  
"You see, my boy," the Chief said, snaking an arm around his neck, "There's something that you've got. It seems like I can trust you more than the others and-" He paused for a moment as he undid the top button on Claude's shirt. "If you ever have any questions, feel free to come to me. I might..." The Chief stared, not saying anything for a good few minutes. "And don't bother with... Mm." Unable to concentrate clearly, he didn't finish his sentence properly.  
"Oh. Thanks, Chief." His ego elated, he left the room with a smirk. _'What a kind man.'_

Later that day, Claude sat with his best friend in the entire world. Ryuu was his best friend too, but Claude had to hide things from him. This, of course, made him gaze off with a blank stare many times a day for long periods of time, as it brought on guilt. He couldn't have his friends together, so it was only natural that he mostly spoke to the person that was always there; and that person was Jitanda.

"You're looking cute as ever, Claude."  
Claude blushed at how heavily accented the speaking of his name was, and the way the midget got on his tippy toes and reached up just to try and pat his head. He never was able to do it, but it was the thought of it all. "D-Don't say things you don't mean."  
Jitanda merely grinned at this and offered the blond a cookie. Leaning back, he asked casually, "So how are things between you and Ludovich?"  
Such a question only served to deepen the blush. He was able to hide it around others sometimes, but never with Jitanda. "It's weird when you call him that..." He was avoiding having to answer and he knew it. "Sometimes-" He lowered his head. He shouldn't say things in front of others, but Jitanda already knew. "Sometimes, I think that he might not be my father. I mean, noone has a kid at that age, right?" Ludovich was still quite young compared to other fathers he's known. But they had to be related, he'd try to convince himself, because otherwise, their relationship wouldn't work. He sighed into his cookie, partially out of confusion and partially out of pleasure.  
"Stop that," Jitanda said with a slap on the thigh(which definitely wasn't intentional) and an uneasy smile. Was he thinking the same? "It doesn't matter. You and him have the sort of relationship I could only dream of."  
Claude nodded. He didn't understand why Jitanda never seemed to date. He was strong and smart and awfully handsome, if he really had to admit it. "Thanks, Jitanda." With a new-found sense of determination, Claude stood up dramatically and step by step, he went out the door. If he got home early, he could prepare an extra special meal, just for Papa.  
Jitanda--poor, misunderstood Jitanda--picked up a picture of him and Claude with a gaze of longing. Damn that Ludovich, he thought for the gabillionth time. Damn Ludovich for being everything he wanted to be. But that was exactly why he couldn't tell the suspicious scene he had seen play out between Ludovich and Mylene.

"Where is he?" Claude wondered out loud, his eyes drifting back to the clock. His father hadn't any plans that he knew of and even said he would be home early, so Claude thought that a nice romantic meal together would be just what they needed, but the candles were melting down and the food was getting cold. After more waiting, he realized that there was a message on the machine saying that his father would be late, but with what? He tried to keep patient. One glass turned into three and tears came faster as he lay his cheek on the cold, smooth surface of the table.

He had been hearing some rumors. Worrisome rumors. They spoke of Ludovich, in his free time, dating a girl. There had been rumors before and they usually they ended up saying ridiculous things that he could never believe. But he was so late, and Mylene certainly had some type of relationship with him, he just hadn't ever thought it to be romantic. It was so obvious he was jealous, only he couldn't help it. He was sure his Papa was cheating on him. Maybe it was because they were related and he wanted a normal relationshion. "Dammit," Claude mumbled in complete misery before falling fast asleep.

Ludovich didn't bother taking off his coat when he arrived. His nose caught on a sweet scent which he followed into the kitchen. His stupid son, however, had fallen asleep. He was going to pay for that. "Wakey wakey."  
The boy awoke with warm breath hitting his chin. Without raising his head, he gazed at Ludovich. How long had he been asleep? "P-Papa... Where were you?"  
"That's none of your business," Ludovich sneered as he shoved some of the cold supper into his mouth. He actually preferred it that way, but if he admitted that, Claude wouldn't work as hard.  
"But I-" The tears were back again, falling freely down his cheeks. "I can't take this anymore. I want Papa for me."  
Ludovich's fork dropped. Without any change in facial expression, he went over and captured his son in his embrace. "You're all I have," he whispered, voice full of no emotion whatsoever. He curled a little piece of hair that was styled suspiciously like another's and was dyed a different blond(e) and took in its scent. "Now about your falling asleep on me." He pulled away, back to looking smug. "I think you owe me."  
"Huh?" Looking down, Claude noticed that he had drooled a little. "No, but... I don't want to-" He took a sharp breath through his nose when potato-ey lips were smashed against his. In ten minutes, when they had some distance between them and were walking into the main room, Claude said he was going to bed.  
"Why would you do that?" Ludovich asked with a smirk. "For all the trouble you caused me, I think you could wait a little longer. Besides, you need to learn how to do it like an adult."  
Claude blushed deeply. Like an adult? But he was only a teenager.  
"It'll come in handy for any negotiations you'll need to do."  
Did he mean... smexing? Before he had time to think about the answer to that, he was shoved onto the couch, brought into yet another kiss.

Claude fought to keep Ludovich from exposing his nude form; the figure of a smooth, thin, and lanky young anorexic girl. "Stop it," he begged lowly as his father started to peel away the last of what clothing he had on.  
In the cutest way possible, Ludovich shook his head and proceeded to kiss all along Claude's neck, the young boy gasping and going, "ah-" all strained like as he trained in vain to push his supposed father away.  
"See? You like it," Ludovich whispered matter-of-factually in his ear as he forced Claude to lay across the couch.  
Claude turned his head and nodded, his mouth shut tight as if that could restrain the noises that were tearing through his throat. He stared in a flushed daze as his father, too, began to take off his clothes before resuming his previous position.

God, he didn't think he could ever imagine a more romantic relationship than theirs.

The next morning, Claude sighed as he and Ryuu took a walk around the block before work. "Ryuu..." It was a startling tone of voice, so much more serious than usual. "Have you ever been in love?"  
Ryuu's eyes sparkled with trembling emotion, his mouth slowly opening and hanging there. Did he mean... Of course he didn't. "No, that's stupid. Feelings are stupid. We're guys." Laughing, he ran ahead, unable to watch his friend any longer. As he hid against the wall of some alley, his eyes lowered, hands clapping onto his face as he sobbed into them.

"Good morning, everyone! I see nobody's absent, so here are your results. As you know, one of you will be getting promoted." He looked at Claude as Ryuu's envelope was dropped on the floor where Ryuu himself would usually be standing. "And for this, we need to look at your family tree. You know, to make sure we're getting Grade A worker. But no worries, even if we had certain problems, it might not completely affect your chances." Winking at the blond boy, the Chief turned with a grin to humor Sophia.

It wasn't until the end of the day that Claude sat on a bench outside, finally making himself open the manilla envelope. Rather than a thick stack of papers, it just had a few words. His eyes gazed over them again and again. "Adopted by..." And there it had his father's name. At that exact moment, Ryuu appeared behind him, cheerfully rambling. Knowing well enough, Claude hid the piece of paper in the envelope as he otherwise stood frozen. But if they weren't related... could their relationship work out? Would it be enough? He fell back into his worried friend, but his mind was still on other matters. After regaining himself just enough, he took off running.


End file.
